(2) Sunday

My mom cannot understand how much I want to play in an orchestra as a professional musician.. But it doesn't matter... At least not anymore now.. Sometimes the love for something just came into this world in your blood, being born along with you that you are so attached to it nothing would ever change the way thing is... However, in reality, things can be changed, tremendously and uninvitingly..Now I occasionally have to deal with myself every single time I start to mourn the past.. It may not seem to be a big deal to some people out there but it is to me.. And it always will be... These mournings always turn out to be more appalling and daunting than nightmares because they make me feel like a coward lion, or a heartless robot.. And the only thing I can find comfort  in, is always the same thing.. Which is nothing.. Time never heals anything.. Time makes you forget, for once.. When "they" come back, time will make you forget again, for the second time... Time never heals, really..